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The Harry Potter Reread would learn to knit, but it would probably dream too big and start by trying to make a kraken, and that would probably end in knotted yarn and the destruction of many bottled ships, so… it’s probably just as well that knitting will never be a skill that the reread attempts.

This week we’re going to wonder why anyone would allow children to play sports in a massive thunderstorm and taste our first glass of butterbeer! It’s chapters 9 and 10 of The Prisoner of Azkaban—Grim Defeat and The Marauder’s Map.

Index to the reread can be located here! Other Harry Potter and Potter-related pieces can be found under their appropriate tag. And of course, since we know this is a reread, all posts might contain spoilers for the entire series. If you haven’t read all the Potter books, be warned.

Chapter 9—Grim Defeat

Summary

The students are all directed to the Great Hall and a school-wide sleepover takes place as the teachers search for Sirius Black. They don’t find him, but Harry overhears Snape express concern that Black was helped into the castle by someone inside, which Dumbledore shuts down right quick. The school is buzzing for days about how Black might have entered. Sir Cadogan is put in the Fat Lady’s place as the password-keeper of the Gryffindor common room until her portrait is repaired.

Draco has played up his injury so Flint can get Slytherin out of the first Quidditch match with Gryffindor because that weather has been icky. As a result, they’re playing their first match against Hufflepuff, and they have a new captain and Seeker by the name of Cedric Diggory. He’s a handsome bloke. Oliver Wood is very concerned for their chances. The day before the match, Harry gets to Defense Against the Dark Arts to find Snape teaching—Professor Lupin is feeling unwell. Snape insists that the class is grotesquely behind and jumps them forward to study werewolves. He sets a long essay on the subject, and gives Ron detention for speaking out on Hermione’s behalf when Snape humiliates her for answering questions without being called on.

Harry wakes up too early for the match, and the weather is atrocious. He can’t see for the first half of the game because the rain keeps messing up his glasses. Eventually Wood calls a time-out and Hermione fixes Harry’s lenses to repel water. Harry sees a black dog in the stands, distracting him as Diggory takes off for the snitch. Then Harry suddenly feels cold everywhere and looks down to see about a hundred dementors in the stadium below him. He hears a woman’s voice begging to keep him alive and someone laughing. He falls right off his broom.

Harry wakes in the hospital wing, having survived his fall because Dumbledore managed to slow him down with magic. The headmaster was furious that the dementors dared to enter the grounds, and chased them off. Cedric Diggory caught the Snitch right as Harry fell, though, so Gryffindor lost the match. (Diggory wanted to discount it due to Harry’s accident, but everyone agreed it had been a fair and square win.) Harry is distraught at letting the team down despite their assurances. After they leave, he asks Ron and Hermione where his broom is; it turns out that it blew right into the Whomping Willow and was shattered to pieces.

Commentary

I’m just saying that if there are no adults in the Great Hall, it would be pretty easy for Sirius to just run in and murder Harry while they were out looking for him. It seems that way, at least. I guess he’d have to find him amidst the student body, but really…. Also, I am slightly disappointed that Great Hall sleepovers are not a regular occurrence because it’s such a natural space for it with the magic ceiling and also big purple sleeping bags and you could just wake up and breakfast would be right there and I’m not kidding, how is this not a monthly school activity?

It’s fairly clear from a reader perspective that Snape is suggesting Lupin might have helped Black into the castle, and I wonder how well this misdirection worked on the general population. Most of this comes down to whether you trust Snape’s instincts over Dumbledore; for my part, I always went with Dumbledore, so I never believed for a second that Remus might be sekritly ebil. But if you were a Snape fan from the get-go, you might have been deeply suspicious.

Not at all surprised that Snape directs the kids to werewolves, even though it is basically the most NOT OKAY thing a teacher could to do to a school employee in Remus’ position. But really, it says a lot more about wizarding world prejudice. Snape knows that if anyone finds out Lupin is a werewolf, the guy is fired—he’s deliberately gaming the system in hopes that it will happen. My real question here is, are Snape prejudices against werewolves fully informed by his experience nearly getting killed by Lupin as a boy (which we’ll got more into depth on later, of course), or does he—like so much of the magical world—have prejudices that started long before that incident? It’s clearly fine to feel that way about people with lycanthropy among wizarding society, so the latter seems more likely.

Crookshanks trying to sneak into the room to kill Scabbers is the best, though. His determination toward murder starts to get funny around this point….

You know, school Quidditch teams should have more than the required seven players. That way you’d have to forfeit a game to pull the stunt Draco gets away with. Also, you shouldn’t let kids play in those conditions, I don’t care if they’re magic and bouncy, what the hell. (What happens when a wizard gets struck by lightning?) I really feel like Hogwarts has probably not changed any school rules (outside of not torturing students in detention) in a few hundred years. Like, what is the Board of Governors even for? Pretty sure that other than Lucius Malfoy strutting around and getting in people’s faces (back when he was a member), they probably just get together to drink sherry, talk shit on various Ministry policies, and reminisce about when they used to be students. In fact, I guarantee you that this is exactly what the Board does. …Can I be on the Board?

Forgetful me, this is the first time we hear tell of Cedric Diggory! It’s a pretty great set-up for his role in the next book, too—from the giggles on the female half of the Gryffindor team, we can tell he’s a good-looking fellow, then we find out that he’s talented to boot and a real sportsman. For him to turn around immediately following a very tough win and want it revoked for Harry’s state is… well, it’s pure Hufflepuff. He’s just an all around good guy.

Again, knowing what’s actually going on here casts such a different light on the situation—no, Harry, it’s okay! Your godfather just really wants to watch you play Quidditch! It’s sort-of bonding! That you don’t realize is happening! Dogs follow sports all the time! Harry, noooooo, don’t freak out. (I’m guessing Sirius maybe sensed the dementors heading over, which is why he disappeared. Otherwise, seeing Harry take that fall probably would have led to more castle break-ins.)

The match actually perfectly illustrates everything that is horrifying about the dementors. They’ve been ordered to stay away from the student body and anything within the grounds, but once they feel that concentration of emotions and people in one area, they just hustle on over. And that’s with warning from a powerful wizard like Dumbledore. And if that’s all it takes, how can the wizarding world ever imagine it has the slightest bit of control where they’re concerned? They’re courting disaster and acting like they’ve got it all under wraps.

Harry, true to children not quite recognizing their mortality, is far more broken up about losing the match than the fact that HE ALMOST DIED. Priorities, Harry. On the other hand, it’s a telling illustration of what matters when you’re so young. Harry has encountered real dangers and life-threatening situations, but to a thirteen-year-old, letting down his classmates is going to sting in a much more potent way. Losing a treasured possession will do that as well; reading this when I was younger, the loss of Harry’s broomstick was crushing to me. This time around, I find myself sort of tutting and shrugging my shoulders.

Hey, kid. You’re alive.

Chapter 10—The Marauder’s Map

Summary

Harry doesn’t want to tell anyone about his glimpse of the Grim or that he has finally figured out what he hears when the dementors get near—the sound of his mother’s death at Voldemort’s hand. He finally gets out of the hospital wing and back to classes. Professor Lupin is back, and gets subjected to a deluge of complains from the students about Snape’s lesson and the essay. He tells them they don’t have to complete it, but Hermione already has.

Lupin asks Harry to stay briefly after class, then asks after his broom, which Harry assures him is beyond repair. Harry finally asks why the dementors seem to affect him so badly, and Lupin gives him the answer; dementors suck away a person’s happiest memories until they’re left with only the worst parts of their life. The “worst” in Harry’s life is substantially more horrific than his classmates, hence his being affected by them so markedly. Harry recalls when Lupin fought off the dementor on the train, and asks him for lessons in repelling them. After some waffling, Lupin agrees, though he says it will have to come after the holidays.

Ron and Hermione plan to stay at Hogwarts over Christmas, which Harry appreciates. There’s a trip to Hogsmeade before the holidays, so Harry is left behind once again. But this time Fred and George corner him in an empty classroom and bequeath to him a miraculous object that the filched from Filch (oh, quelle irony). It’s called the Marauder’s Map, created by Mssrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, and it details the layout of the school and location of its inhabitants. It also shows all of the secret passageways out of the castle. Fred and George show Harry the only operative one that Filch doesn’t know about and tell him to get himself into town. Harry goes along the passageway for a long while until he finally emerges in Honeydukes sweetshop. He finds Ron and Hermione and tell them about the map. Hermione wishes Harry would turn it in, concerned that Black might know about the secret entrances on it.

The trio head off to the Three Broomsticks to have some butterbeer and are promptly interrupted by the arrival of McGonagall, Flitwick, Cornelius Fudge, and Hagrid. Hermione puts the bar’s Christmas tree in front of them to prevent the adults from noticing their presence. The owner of the Broomsticks, Madame Rosmerta, sits down to have a drinks with them and gets the whole scoop on the Black situation. It turns out that Sirius was James Potter’s best friend at school, they were inseparable. Sirius was the best man at his wedding, named Harry’s godfather, and when Voldemort was after them he became their secret keeper. It was his job to keep their location safe from Voldemort and he ratted them out immediately. Another childhood friend of theirs, a hero-worshipping untalented boy named Peter Pettigrew, came after Sirius following the Potters’ deaths. Black murdered him and everyone around him. Fudge had worked for the Department of Magical Catastrophies and the time and saw the scene. He claims that Black seemed utterly calm in Azkaban, despite being one of their most high security prisoners with dementors on him constantly. He can’t bear to think how easily Voldemort would return to power with Black at his side.

Commentary

Harry knows that the voice he’s hearing is his mother dying, and I cannot stress how horrifying it is that Hogwarts has no school counselor or someone around who he can talk to this about. The closest he gets is telling Lupin, who clearly wants to pull the kid into a giant bear werewolf hug, but feels that might be inappropriate with Harry not really knowing his background with the Potters. Just hug him, Remus. He has a deficit, he needs to make it up somehow.

I love how chill Remus is when he finds out about the essay Snape assigned. He’s like, huh, but you told him you hadn’t covered it, weird. That’s okay, I’ll talk to him. No worries. We’re cool. Internally, he must be in a crazy panic.

And finally he explains to Harry what the deal is with his reaction to the dementors, which I’m still shocked no one managed to do before then, because how could you not assume the kid might need that information. At least it leads to the eventual defense lessons, which we’ll get to later on.

The reveal of the Marauder’s Map might be one of my favorites in the series. It’s just a flawless way of slipping it into the narrative, and such an important artifact. The fact that Fred and George found it makes so much sense (though how the ever-loving dweezle they managed to figure out “I solemnly swear I am up to no good” to unlock it is the real question; my assumption is that the map can recognize fellow trouble makers and probably gave them hints). It offers up a piece of the mystery under the guise of a really helpful object—it’s here where we first find the names Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, and you can’t help but wonder who those names belong to. How are there not more maps like this? How are all wizard maps not like this? How incredibly talented were Harry’s dad and company for creating it the first place? Since this isn’t how all magic maps work, you get an idea of how tremendously innovative those boys were—which is something the wizarding world still has desperate need of. Losing a good part of a generation in the first war against Voldemort set them back in ways they don’t understand.

But that walk through the passage into Hogsmeade, though. I understand that Harry wants to get there, but the twins should have given him an ETA; after walking for a half hour down that passage, I’d have assumed I was being punked and turned back.

Ron and Hermione are so cute—do you think Harry wants to eat some cockroaches? Blood pops? We have to get something really good this time. Hermione’s concern over the map is sensible as ever, but no reader is ever going to agree on giving up a badass magical map that shows you where all the people are. Sorry, Hermione.

I had completely forgotten how the conversation in The Three Broomsticks went down between Fudge, McGonagall, Hagrid, Flitwick and Rosmerta, and honestly… it’s super sloppy. They’re talking in public, in a crowded space where it would be very easy to listen in, giving up classified information, and it’s all such an obvious infodump. Especially with Rosmerta interrupting every other sentence to basically say, “Gee, and what happened next?” Really annoying. Great, essential background, but the fact that they’re just offering it up like that makes no sense. Also, uh, Fudge was responsible for sending Hagrid to Azkaban? Hagrid wants to have a drink with the guy after that? I sure hope Fudge is paying, then.

I have this niggling feeling that Sirius allowed himself to be entirely lucid around Fudge just to screw with him. Which I prefer to believe because the other option is that he’s just completely desperate for any kind of human contact, since he’s never allowed it, and no, that hurts too much, stop.

And then another excellent cliffhanger as Harry tries to parse out feelings over having a godfather responsible for the death of his family. Oh, honey. It’s gonna get much more confusing than that.

Aunt Marge's Big Mistake

• The next day, Harry goes down to eat breakfast with the Dursleys.
• The TV is on and a news report notifies people that a dangerous convict named Black is on the loose.
• Harry then hears news that really ruins his day: Aunt Marge is coming to visit.
• Marge hates Harry and makes his life even more miserable than usual at the Dursleys.
• Vernon tells Harry to keep up the cover story that he goes to some school for "incurably criminal boys" (2.1.42) or else he'll get a knuckle sandwich.
• Harry is crafty, though, and tells Uncle Vernon that he'll cooperate as long as Uncle Vernon signs Harry's Hogsmeade permission slip.
• Well played, Harry.
• Aunt Marge and her bulldog Ripper arrive and act like jerks.
• She says charming things to Harry like, "You'd have gone straight to an orphanage if you'd been dumped on my doorstep" (2.1.74).
• Aunt Marge continues to insult Harry and his parents throughout her stay and Harry tries to tune her out and just think of Hogwarts.
• But when Marge insults his mom, he loses his temper and breaks her teacup with magic. Fortunately, Aunt Marge thinks she broke it herself with her super strong grip of steel.
• But Uncle Vernon is suspicious.
• Harry continues to daydream around Marge and manages to survive until her last night.
• "This worked quite well, though it seemed to give him a glazed look, because Aunt Marge started voicing the opinion that he was mentally subnormal" (2.3.1).
• But then Marge starts drinking and really goes to town insulting Harry's parents, and Harry finally snaps.
• Aunt Marge starts inflating like a balloon, the Dursleys freak out, and a furious Harry gathers his stuff and leaves the house.

The Knight Bus

• Harry gradually calms down and starts to panic – he just ran away from home after performing accidental, illegal magic.
• He's convinced that he's going to be expelled from Hogwarts and starts planning his new life as a fugitive outcast.
• But then he spies a giant black dog, which actually makes his situation worse because the darn dog is huge and scary.
• But then he trips and throws his wand hand out (just wait, it really does get better) and a giant purple bus appears out of nowhere and nearly mows him down.
• No, really, it gets better.
• Turns out, this is "the Knight Bus, emergency transport for the stranded witch or wizard" (3.14). Oh, but of course.
• Stan and Ernie, the Knight Bus crew, welcome Harry aboard. Harry plays it cool and acts like he meant to summon the bus.
• He also tells them his name is Neville Longbottom.
• Harry requests transport to Diagon Alley in London and the bus takes off.

How It All Goes Down

X

The Leaky Cauldron

• Harry is having the best summer ever in Diagon Alley. He's free to do whatever he likes and he spends his days wandering around, working on his homework, and eating free ice cream sundaes (being the defeater of Voldemort really pays off).
• One day, Harry sees the coolest thing ever: a brand new broom called the Firebolt. It's super expensive, though, so Harry restrains himself from buying one.
• Harry runs errands and starts buying his supplies for the school year.
• At the bookstore, he picks up his books for a new subject, Divination, which is about predicting the future. He also learns that the Monster Book he got is a course book for Care of Magical Creatures.
• The books are all eating each other in a display case, much to the store owner's horror.
• Harry sees the large black dog on a book cover and gets nervous – turns out the black dog is a death omen.
• Finally, Hermione, Ron, and the other Weasleys arrive in Diagon Alley.

The Dementor

• After a hectic morning, the Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione all set off for King's Cross Station.
• Arthur sticks close to Harry at the station and takes him aside to talk before Harry boards the train.
• Harry tells Mr. Weasley that he overheard him discussing Black and that he isn't afraid.
• But Mr. Weasley is still concerned and he tells Harry something odd: "Harry, swear to me you won't go looking for Black" (5.41).
• Harry thinks this is bizarre.
• Once on the train, Harry, Ron, and Hermione find a compartment occupied by a sleeping adult named Professor R.J. Lupin.
• The trio decide he's pretty conked out and Harry tells his BFFs about the whole Sirius Black thing.
• Ron and Hermione are freaked out about a lunatic murderer coming after their friend, but Harry thinks they should chill out.
• The conversation then turns to the awesomeness of Hogsmeade, and Ron and Hermione are completely bummed that Harry never got his permission form signed.
• Hermione lets Crookshanks out of his cage and the cat makes another go at Scabbers before settling down to glare at Ron.
• Later, Draco Malfoy and his goons Crabbe and Goyle stop by to stir up trouble (some things never change), but they shut up and leave when they spot the sleeping Professor Lupin.
• The train then slows and comes to a stop, which is weird. Then all the lights go out, which is extra creepy.
• Neville and Ginny come into the compartment and Lupin finally wakes up and tells them all to shut up.
• Then it gets very cold and something horrible comes inside: "Standing in the doorway, illuminated by the shivering flames in Lupin's hand, was a cloaked figure that towered to the ceiling. It's face was completely hidden beneath its hood. [...] There was a hand protruding from the cloak and it was glistening, grayish, slimy looking, and scabbed" (5.164).
• The entire compartment gets cold and Harry hears a roaring sound, then screams, and then he passes out.
• When he comes to, the lights are on, the train is moving, and the Dementor is gone.
• Lupin gives Harry chocolate and goes to talk with the conductor.
• Harry's friends are all shaken and afraid, but no one passed out like Harry did. No one heard screaming either...
• Finally, the train arrives at Hogwarts and everyone makes their way up to the school.
• Unfortunately, the news of Harry passing out has already made the rounds and Draco pops up to make fun of him, like a punk.
• Lupin comes back and shuts Draco down, though.
• As they enter the school, Professor McGonagall pulls Hermione and Harry aside and takes them to her office.
• Harry is there to get checked over by the school nurse, Madame Pomfrey. He's humiliated and escapes as soon as possible, worried that he'll never live down his little fainting spell.
• Hermione stays behind a few more minutes and then emerges with Professor McGonagall. The three make their way down the Great Hall for the Welcome Feast. They've missed the sorting hat, unfortunately.
• Dumbledore delivers his welcome back speech, though it's more serious this year since he spends time warning people about the Dementors that are lurking about: "It is not in the nature of a Dementor to understand pleading or excuses. I therefore warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you" (5.250).
• Dumbledore moves on to happier matters and introduces two new professors. Professor Lupin will teach Defense Against the Dark Arts and Hagrid will teach Care of Magical Creatures.
• Harry, Ron, and Hermione are psyched about Hagrid's new gig.
• At the end of the feast, they rush up to congratulate Hagrid and then make their way to the Gryffindor rooms along with the rest of their house.
• Harry feels like he's back home at last.